So you are thinking " I am way too awkward to do a photoshoot with Ash "
Please listen 
When you arrive for a session after we have done the steps and you are almost done with the hair and makeup I tell you these things:
- I will forget how to talk. Words leave my body. Your elbow may sound like 'knee' or 'mmhmm that'
- I will hit my head at least 3 times, pay no mind to me I'll cuss and go on
- I will tell my lights and plants they are on their way to a smack bottom - often we fight with each other.
- You will hear my knees protest, and me grunting to show you the pose then move out your way, cause I am out of shape 100%
- Ill say things like 'give yourself a wedgie' 'breathe in deep and out through your mouth' 'do it again' 'if jesus cant see your booty hole its not high enough' 'tits up' 'chin forward'
FOR EXAMPLE A SHORT STORY:
A few years ago at an old home studio of ours a neon session one of my first attempts and i was pumped.
I love light so I said, 'Well I am gonna stagger candles around for more fun light effects."
The client arrives and we start the session. I am as per usual in leggings for this session. We are maybe 20 minutes into the camera time and I felt a sharp burning pain IN MY BUTT CRACK.
I yelped jump up slapping my booty.
I burned a hole in the crack of my pants in front of her.
You bet though we finshed that shoot laughin like fools about it while I had a brand new peephole in my pants 
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